If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
