Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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