Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
