my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
Randomize
