K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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