So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
