i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
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