It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Of course I have a pirate flag
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
Randomize
