I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Who knew removing piercings would be so radical?
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