So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
