Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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