if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I seriously can't date anymore I forgot how to hide my crazy
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Randomize
