wrigley field is MILF paradise
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
Randomize