Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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