you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
No worries, I've prioritized my homework into "can do drunk" and "should be sober" categories. We're good.
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
