Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Blood and glitter go together right?
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
Randomize
