I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You were licking skittles to check if they were "halucinateizers" so no, you are not leaving the house while on antibiotics.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize