I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
Is it weird that the best sex I've ever had was to Barbara Streisand's Christmas album?
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Randomize
