At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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