Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize