we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... π―πππ
Do I even want to know?
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
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