What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Randomize
