"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Was asked out on a date tonight on Linked In. That creepy genius at apple that touched my butt one time in the back stairwell. I thinks it's fair to say I've hit rock bottom.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
He puked in the middle of it and I still wasn't disappointed.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
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