Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
my phone needs a breathalizer
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Randomize
