Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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