Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
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