After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
We got baked and watched the cheetah girls on Netflix
You need to not admit that.
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
You were passed out in the OutBack Bowl Shrimp costume and when we asked you wtf happened you just said On Wisconsin.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
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