just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Randomize
