Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
