Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Randomize
