So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
