ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
