I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize