so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
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Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
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I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
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