OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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