i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
