I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
