Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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