She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Dude you make losing your phone an art. You left it balancing on a two liter bottle in the kitchen. Wtf
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
JUST MADE A FLAMING SLED. MIGHT HAVE 3RD DEGREE BURNS.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
He is just a personification of a vodka hangover.
Yes. Sex with questionable women, and made of potatoes.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I may have had several rum punches and then gone to the store and used European cucumbers to prove my baton twirling prowess.
Randomize
