I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
I'll explain later but basically I was feeling dangerous, I'm dressed as Ann Romney and Ann Romney is a bad bitch.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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