you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
at this point, i'm only going to therapy to get more free condoms
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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