See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
I just googled if crying burns calories
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
