Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Guess who has got hockey tickets for tonight? Only cost me road head going to and coming from the game
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
