I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Randomize
