you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
Statistics show that guys with slightly higher IQ scores and overly-trimmed eyebrows have micro penises. It's science.
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
