so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
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