Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Randomize
