is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
