my soul wont recognize me after tonight
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
I hate him and his pretentious your-sleeping-in-the-wet-spot look.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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