Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
