after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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