Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
