nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
