I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
Randomize
