there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Do you think unemployment will give me a christmas bonus?
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
Randomize
