I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I just found a bag of teeth...
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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