oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
literally had 100 drinks last night.
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
