careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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