I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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