she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
At some point i could of swore that you were in my bedroom riding a manatee last night..... I like my new dealer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
I have not brushed my hair. I'm wearing a yoga hoodie. I look like I slept in a gutter somewhere. Today is going to be a good day.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
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