if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
you haven't felt a hangover until you wake up after a night of snorting tequila.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
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