That's intense
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Randomize
