I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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