You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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