ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
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Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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